I woke up on Christmas morning in Florida last year to an excruciating pain in my abdomen. I’ve felt pain before. I’ve give birth. I’ve taken a line drive softball in my breast when I was 13 (that really really hurt). I slammed my vagina hard on a bike seat poppin’ wheelies. I know some pain. But This Pain was the kind of pain they are talking about when they say pain that stops you dead in your tracks. And it was Christmas Day, which was unfortunate timing, because I have at least one child who still believes in Santa Claus. But I also have a worrying Irish mother, so I was carted to the Emergency Room by a worrying Irish aunt.